I wish I can be a 'fellow traveller' all my life, towards all life's issues, without being condemned by the Leftist or the Rightist.

Of course i am not talking about politics, in that area I think i have established my stand.

But life, it is, that i am dealing with.

and no one let you stay uncommitted forever. because you will end up with nothing ...
or losing what you have, or could have had....

and unmotivated soul.

just want to curl up, and make myself the most minute existence in this world, that occupies the least spatial compartment and hide in a blanket or something.

and not move.


station, is the safest.
the slighest movement might bring dreadful result.
let the world react on you, instead of you responding.

I feel safe, under water,
sink in and submerged,
let yourself be surrounded by fluid,
the warms and the enclosure,
being wrapped around and contained

and you forget about danger.

i certainly do not feel like moving.
since when do I forget how to be myself alone and enjoy sorrow.. i guess since when i realise there is alternative. a better alternative.


i walk away alone, wanting someone to come find me
i fall down by myself, hoping someone will catch me
i drown in thoughts, imagining someone reaching out their hands to me
i remain station, waiting for any invitation or emcourage me to trust the world again.
and to remind me to believe in myself again.

 i didnt need to.

it is true, so little is written about you.

not because you weigh anything less.

but because, I realize

i'd rather be writing to you
rather be spending time with you, enjoying the time together
spend more time loving you, learning to love you
love you better..

than to sit and wander around thinking all the useless thoughts
and to make them into beautiful sorrowful prose, as a way to capture it
then i would only be in love with my own sob story

in reality, the prose manifest itself
I am in love with a real person, real story
and it changed my perspective.

this is why it is so different
this is why it is so concrete, and solide and tangible, and touchable
and this is why I am not the same person anymore.

this why it is not about me anymore.

then everything else dissolve into history,
my eyes can only see, you.
my heart only throbs, for you.

you know what, the story doesnt happen here. and it is so much better this way :) bye.